i keep telling this story over and over
i carry it with me
i check it occasionally
i make sure i get my lines right
insert insecurity here
list things you won’t accomplish later
listen to sad music now
speak to the voices later
make sure you quote
George Elliott Clarke:
See, the poet’s body whelps carrion-insects
Vomits some worms, some ants, some wasps, some bees

intermittently
threaten the darkness with Blackness
find nothing:
this is actually a hopeless place
a realm of black eyes on Black beauties

On this corner of struggle, like elsewhere,
there are some white women to be annoyed with
A white pimp to freak out about your willing use of
white
white white white
it’s everywhere
try to escape

run for shelter
but we both know
resources are tight
there’s no room for you
in her heart
or in his tent of privilege
so, write even if what you write is shit

It’s tricky
carving up
people’s hearts:
soon there are
pieces everywhere
starting to wander around
regurgitating blood
bleating sad songs

We can not confront this
as we are wont to do
so let’s label it:
this line is trite
this is just a story
I will carry with me
Adrienne is still dead
this is just more bad poetry

Forever there will be
knives and
grilled cheese sandwiches
drunken photos
incomplete love
trying to touch tears
through doors
and satellites

And, oh yeah,
the part where it all hurts like hell.
So look, I really just want to steal lines
Shaughnessy’s Human Dark with Sugar
describes you to me perfectly
Marvin’s World’s Tallest Disaster
describes the way I felt next to you
Especially when you disappeared
and the difference in height
became infinite

My seven things:
1. Unless a writer has an extremely compelling plot, attention to word choice and sentence structure are just as important to me as the story in a novel.
2. I’m currently studying Chinese and Korean on alternating days.
3. I tend to leave used dental floss in random places.
4. I still have my most important childhood dolls in a visible location in my bedroom.
5. I write depressing comments to myself in my research notes.
6. I am mildly agoraphobic.
7. As I made this list, I was acutely aware of the ways in which it will bias people against me and whatever I write here.

Now for some blogs that I would like to nominate, in no particular order:
1. Recovering Yogi — I always look forward to the entries on this blog.
2. Long Cool Hallway — for real poetry
3. Law and the Multiverse — in case, like me, you are a legal geek and a comic book geek.
4. Wonkette — one of the greatest websites ever made. Period.
5. Pocho — great satire with a Latino flavor.
6. East Los Angeles Dirigible Airlines — because Sesshu Foster is wonderful, and his words always take me home.
7. Harriet: The Blog — The Poetry Foundation blog is surprisingly awesome.
8. The Chess Mind — Great chess analysis!
9. Confused Laowai — Because all of us Chinese learners could be described as such.
10. Sonnet Reviews — Hilarious film reviews in sonnet format.
11. Ko Kai-Ming — Beautiful poetry by a dear friend.
12. Poem Shape — Because I really like reading about poetry.
13. Jason Crane — Because I really like good poetry.
14. Fever Watch — A great blog for those of us who watch Kdrama (Korean soap operas) and Taiwanese drama. They regularly add a certain lightness to my day and a little smile to my face.
15. Angry Asian Buddhist — pretty much what it sounds like: awesome.

Summer swelter is sticky
Holding on is now
a moral imperative
for the Fall

2001 opens and the hammer
will hit a nail into your cheek
and twist your arm
you now know disfiguration

Summer drips into
slimey ruthless
Engagement Round 1

2002 is the Sea of Tears
The beater leaves you to cry yourself sick
The sinus pressure chases you
until a car runs over you both

Senior year begins
There’s a certain liquidity to it
Similar to the way steak tastes
when you put it in a blender

The story is now a reality
You wrestle with
how to live in it
Forgetting
there was ever a possibility
Outside of it

This is the box
You are taught to think inside of
It has frilly dimensions
You will always know your place
It comes complete with a Harvard degree:
Success.

wij kunnen dit niet
jij en mij
het ligt niet voor mij weg

I carry the seed within me to do this
to hold you up if your legs equivocate
if your heart starts to run low on fuel
Like others, I carry just-in-case kindling –
women do this all the time.

if you were reading, thanks.

for some things we can look at them and say: that is now only in the past, its presence in the future an impossibility.
may that be true for all of the pieces that give you heart ache.